Jagr Signs With Dallas
Mullet Master JJ signed with The Dallas Stars. The senior citizen signed a 1 year 4.5 million dollar contract. No one in Dallas really cares about sports as Mark Cuban and The Cowboys aren't playing now. There were about 20 teams in the league that even knew who Jagr was when he came into the league last year. This will be Jagr's first time playing for a team in the NHL's western conference. Back when Jagr was a Stanley Cup champion there probably were no teams west of Detroit as Christopher Columbus was still discovering America back then.
Jagr is not the only dinosaur that will suit up for the Stars next year. If Ray Whitney lives long enough he will play with Dallas. Jagr will be there to take credit with all the hard work that the young players do.
Prediction: Jagr plays half the season if he is lucky. He will make up excuses that his back hurts or whine about getting hit. He will open up a chain of mens salons.